Polywise

Overview

As polyamory continues to make its way into the mainstream, more and more people are exploring consensual nonmonogamy in the hope of experiencing more love, connection, sex, freedom and support. While for many, the move expands personal horizons, for others, the transition can be challenging, leaving them blindsided and overwhelmed. Beyond the initial transition to nonmonogamy, many struggle with the root issues beneath the symptoms of broken agreements, communication challenges, increased fighting and persistent jealousy. Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley share the insights they have gained through thousands of hours working with clients in consensually nonmonogamous relationships. Using a grounded theory approach, they explore the underlying challenges that nonmonogamous individuals and partners can experience after their first steps, offering practical strategies for transforming them into opportunities for new levels of clarity and intimacy. Polywise provides both the conceptual framework to better understand the shift from monogamy to nonmonogamy and the tools to navigate the next steps.

Reviews

"A must-read for anyone navigating open relationships." —Esther Perel, psychotherapist and author of Mating in Captivity.

“I find Jessica’s work not only highly useful but absolutely essential to building healthy, secure open relationships. What a gift this intelligent, inspired piece of literature is to the broader non-monogamous community, as well as those about to embark on this brave frontier of multiple loves! I whole-heartedly recommend this book to anyone interested in self-acceptance and self-mastery, as well as their own emotional well-being as they build loving, sustainable, healthy multiple relationships.”—Kitty Chambliss, ACC, CPC, ELI-MP, relationship coach and author of Jealousy Survival Guide: How to Feel Safe, Happy and Secure in an Open Relationship

"I often say there's being polyamorous and then there's being polyamorous well. I believe Polywise can equip you to do just that." —Evita Sawyers, author of A Polyamory Devotional.

"An exceptional achievement that will be required reading for anyone practicing consensual nonmonogamy, from seasoned veteran to timid newbie alike." —Emily Sotelo Matlack, co-host of the Multiamory podcast and co-author of Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships,

"Most of us are content to ‘make polyamory work’ and keep ourselves and our partners reasonably happy. Jessica Fern is taking us far beyond that to a much deeper level of understanding of our psyches and the underpinnings of our relationship dynamics. She and her co-conspirator David Cooley have bared their souls about the evolution of their own poly lives and relationships, as well as sharing countless illuminating stories about their clients' struggles . . . Required reading and a must-have for your poly bookshelf!” —Kathy Labriola,  author of The Polyamory Breakup Book.
 
"If you are ready to think more deeply about communication, codependency, conflict, and repair in your most important relationships, Polywise is required reading." —Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, author of Love Every Day and host of Reimagining Love.
 
"In Polywise, Jessica Fern and David Cooley help readers understand the often unseen root causes of symptoms and give them the strategies they need so their relationships can actually thrive." —JoEllen Notte, author of The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having and In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family.
 


 


 



 

Author Biography

Jessica Fern is a psychotherapist, trauma and relationship expert and the author of Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy. She works with people who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles and past traumas, helping them to embody new possibilities in life and love. David Cooley is a professional restorative justice faciliitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer and bilingual cultural broker. His work incorporates trauma-informed care, attachment theory, somatic practices and other modalities.